“Nobody talks about the other loss, the loss that happens within us. We lose people and things, but we also lose parts of ourselves. We grieve them, and they grieve us.” These are quoted lines by Caroline George from Dearest Josephine. I would like to add that internal loss is an eternal loss. No one talks about it. No one cares about it. It’s a loss—an invincible one.
Well, bad days, losing people, and a whole host of other things are simply a part of life. I know it’s hurtful sometimes, or maybe more, when you want people to stay; sometimes you even ask for it, but still, they leave as a leaf detaching from a tree, wilting and yellowing with the advent of autumn.
One of the things I’ve encountered in these 20 years of my life is when someone tells me that I make other people feel lonely and excluded. That was painful, I agree! However, I have a query for each reader: How can you feel lonely because of someone else? You are the one who always makes yourself feel ignored. Life has always been so much about being busy and finding yourself in the right location at the right time. Don’t you people think that you should just go speak up for the importance you desire instead of avoiding situations where you are left out? The fact that people are reluctant to demand the value they deserve doesn’t bother me in the least. Someone back in time made me learn this thing of looking at things from others’ perspectives, which made me realize that if you start doing this, you won’t continue to be upset over the things that once made you sad.
I can understand that some people are cautious about speaking their minds, while others are just overthinkers who don’t want others to feel sorry for or comfort them. However, how would one justify the fact that the person in front of you is just asking about your problems to give you sympathy? No! People share, not because they are asking for sympathy. It’s a process of finding concern and love. And don’t be in denial, because we are all on a journey to finding love. Sharing things with the right people keeps you confident. It’s just that you need to figure out who those “right ones” are.
So, keep in mind that no one cries for sympathy! No one shares problems to seek attention! Accept that there are times when you feel low and need people around you. It’s okay to need someone. To need crutches makes you feel alive that there are people who love to support you even in the difficult phases of your life. You get to know people only through that. Those who leave you at dusk—maybe they weren’t destined to be with you and left with a lesson behind—you cannot trust everyone you talk to. There’s a very thin line between acquaintances and loved ones, but that doesn’t mean that you stop trusting people. It’s a journey of you evolving every other day. You can trust people even after your trust is broken by someone else.
Because our so-called Z-generation is preoccupied with trust and attachment issues, they wind up losing the important people in their lives without realizing that when they place their trust in someone, they are giving a piece of themselves to that person, and whatever they receive in return—good or bad—either makes them feel happy or teaches them something.
For everyone out there: We all came into existence as humans who have the ability to give love, care, support, and acknowledge what others are facing, so let’s quit acting inhumanely and show kindness to those who put their trust in us.
Although it may go against what you believe, I think that loving others is more valuable than loving oneself. When people find comfort inside of you, it brings you an unfathomable sense of joy because, in the end, that is the purest form of self-love you can ever know. Trust me on this!