INTRODUCTION
Life is a collection of experiences ! In the past 1 1/2 years, I have been through continuous physical health trauma, which was taking me towards emotional instability. Pain I had to bear, round the clock, was brutally impacting my psychological health. My physical condition was quite complicated but that is a story for another day. So I was becoming emotionally fragile and losing the grip over my emotions. Also, I had never been great in letting go and my suffering gave a boost to this issue, too. Close ones tried to help, but it was not enough. I needed something else. I needed to learn mindfulness. I needed ‘the art of letting go’. Then, just like a gush of wind, health came from nowhere. I got in touch with Shikha mam. She is a CA from Mumbai, who also works for bringing some positive change in the world. Her dedication to this cause is highly commendable. She has many productive whatsapp communities and introduced me to one such community – ‘Mindfulness Retreat’. Under her guidance, I started filling the Big ozone hole in my life and with the passage of time, a new era began…
MINDFULNESS
My conditions could have taken me towards something close to madness but I used this situation for my own advantage. I developed a hunger inside me, a craze to get control over myself. Slowly, as time passed, I started implementing mindfulness in my life. Mindfulness is not something which can be learned in a single day. We need daily reminders, patience and someone to keep a check on us. Shikha mam shares something related to the subject, everyday, in her group. These constant reminders kept me attached to mindfulness. As a result, I began remaining in the present and started enjoying its benefits. For those who don’t know, mindfulness is all about remaining in the present moment, without any judgement and identification with oneself. We have to mind everything we do. When we eat food, drink water, drive a car, walk on roads, climb stairs, have discussions, sit alone and think or do literally anything. In easy words, From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, till we go to sleep at night, we should try to stay in the present. it looks impossible, and surely it is extremely difficult. Mastering this art could take an eternity. What we can do is practise and keep improving ourselves. In my case, I consider myself just something more than a beginner, even today, even after almost an year of practice. So you get the idea. If you are new to this, you must be wondering about how it works ? I will try to explain as best as I could. When we remain in the present or when we stay mindful, we remain connected to reality. Handling any situation is way easier, in those moments. For example – if we get angry, and somehow manage to stay Grounded in the present, then in that instance, we still hold the strings, not our emotions.
In unbearable psychological conditions, such as relationship issues, people just wander away, in the past and do unproductive, self-destructive, thinking. If they could just control their thoughts and stay connected to reality, then handling their misery could become much easier. With these examples, you will now have an idea, how important mindfulness could be for tranquility, in life. It also increases our productivity. Anyway, I kept improving, slowly bit by bit and my hold over myself strengthened gradually. I kept a check on my emotions and found significant improvement. People around me also noticed. It was a great achievement for me, and my happiness reached no bounds.
LETTING GO
Although infinitely helpful, mindfulness alone couldn’t fix all my problems. My issue with letting go of things, continued and expanded. I started solving that problem again with Shikha mam’s valuable guidance. She taught that when we let go of things, not in our control, they start resolving by themselves and I found it actually worked, in a number of cases. The book, ‘The Power of now’, has some very amazing stuff on the topic of letting go, in the last chapters. However, the term which is used there is ‘surrender’ and the concept is slightly different from absolute letting go. Now, to understand this letting go/surrender, first we will have to understand the difference between letting go and giving up. They could look similar, but they are not. Some minute differences exist. When we let go of anything, we do it willingly while this is not the case when we give up. Letting go is usually done on a positive note, whereas when we give up, lots of negativity is involved. This difference has been expertly explained in Dr. Vikas Divyakirti Sir’s, video on his YouTube channel. In the concept of surrender, given in the book mentioned, letting go and giving up, have been kept under one roof. So,this idea of surrender has two aspectss. On one hand, it doesn’t mean that we always bend the knee and stop working for our goals, in case of a failure,. No ! It simply means that we stop having anxiety if we fail to achieve something. We should still keep working without stress, simply. This is only possible when we Stop attaching ourselves to our emotions. On other hand, sometimes there are situations in our life, where absolutely nothing remains in our power. In those moments, It’s better to completely let go or totally surrender. As it is said in the book series – The King killer Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss, ‘Only a fool worries about things he can’t control’. One example – Recently, I lost my purse for the first time in my entire life. My reaction at this was more shocking than the shock of the loss itself because panicking was a far off thing, I don’t think I even became anxious. In earlier days, the entire story would have been different. Now this doesn’t mean that I stopped bothering about it or anything like that. Absolutely not. ! I started the search calmly and informed everyone else, to be on the lookout. But everything was in vain. Then, reluctantly, with a cold heart, I started to let go of my purse. I was still worried, of course, but anxiety watched from a distance only. And yes, it can be done, by simply following the right path, worries can be separated from anxiety. Later, miraculously, on the verge of completely letting go of it, the purse was found !!! I have seen people struggling to let go, in relationship issues too. I know it is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. No doubt. But it can be done by taking the right approach. Here also, the art of letting go is the life saviour. Accepting that it’s over is the golden key to salvation. You can sayb that it is the first and most important step towards letting go or moving on, as they say. Once, the reality is accepted, it becomes easier to let go.
CONNECTION
Now, it may look like mindfulness and letting go are two separate entities. It’s true that they have some differences, like mindfulness is about staying in the present, whereas letting go deals with the release of thought/emotion/feeling. They might not seem directly connected, but they have a deep indirect connection. Letting go need a huge amount of patience and a good grip on emotions. I don’t think it is possible without these two values. And guess what, both these things keep coming if we practise mindfulness regularly. On the other hand, mindfulness lets us think clearly, which increases the awareness of our own thoughts. Then, attachment to our past and identity becomes a huge hindrance in letting go. But when we stay grounded in the present moment, with the help of mindfulness, these attachments start loosening up. Subsequently, non-attachment from our emotions/identity, becomes easy. This leads to the natural process of letting go. We can say that the vast ocean of mindfulness contains an important sea called letting go.
CONCLUSION
Mindfulness is all about staying in the present moment at all times. It Protects us from the burden of the past, while clearing our thoughts in the present and preparing us for the future. Letting go deals with non-attachment of unwanted/unbearable feelings. They both work in unison to make our lives better. As of today, they are truly transforming the journey of my life, and I will encourage everyone to dive in this magnificent ocean. I have seen people complain that they have difficulty in pursuing mindfulness. See, mindfulness is like a temperamental and beautiful lady, give her the time and attention she deserves, and she is yours !!!
Note from the author
This article was first published in Prizzie magazine (September 2024 edition). Hope you enjoyed reading it. Drop a comment and tell me how was it? Also, do share with someone who can find inspiration in my words… thanks!
