A New Constitution of India

On 26th January, 1950 a Constitution was promulgated which had nothing to do with the realities of India, and the result has been we are in a mess. So it is high time we promulgate tomorrow, 26th January 2013, a new truthful Constitution reflecting our country’s realities.

The following draft of the New Constitution has been produced by the best legal minds of India, and is being submitted to the people of India for their approval :

New Constitution of India


We the People of India, who are mostly casteist, communal and stupid

Do solemnly resolve to remain casteist, communal and stupid till eternity

And to secure to all our citizens

INJUSTICE social, economic and political

LIBERTY to spread caste, communal, racial, lingual and regional hatred, and to do lynching, defrauding, looting, deceiving etc

INEQUALITY of status, opportunity, wealth, caste, religion etc

Do hereby Adopt, Enact, and Give to ourselves this New Constitution :

Article 1

India, that is Bharat, shall be a collection of fools, steeped in casteism, communalism and stupidity, and to be ruled by corrupt crooked politicians, gangsters, deceivers, frauds and looters

Article 2

Citizenship : There will be two types of citizens of India, viz ordinary citizens and superior citizens. The vast majority of people will be ordinary citizens, that is those who are meant to be befooled, exploited, looted and controlled by the superior citizens. The superior citizens will have the right to loot, deceive, control and polarise the ordinary citizens on caste, communal, racial, lingual or regional basis, and the ordinary citizens must obey the superior citizens in all matters without any questions being asked.

Article 3

Fundamental Rights : The only Fundamental Right of ordinary citizens will be to get looted, deceived, lynched, discriminated against, oppressed, exploited and controlled by the superior citizens. Freedom of speech, liberty, equality, secularism, etc are all humbug, and are strictly prohibited

Article 4

Directive Principles of State Policy : The State shall endeavour to

a) deprive ordinary citizens of their livelihood and keep them hungry, unemployed, ignorant and without healthcare, housing etc

b) hand over the ownership and control of the material resources of the country, including ports, airports, mines, coal, power plants, etc mainly in the hands of two Indian billionaires, and increase the divide between rich and poor

c) increase exploitation of the people, particularly the vulnerable and those living on the margins of existence e.g. tribals in forests

d) increase casteism, communalism, discrimination and atrocities on minorities, dalits, women etc and for that purpose instIgate caste&communal riots, lynching and massacres

e) drug people’s minds through the godi media, Bollywood films like Pathan, cricket, cheap politics etc so that people forget the hell they are living in

f) ensure delay in justice in courts, so that cases are decided after generations

Article 5

Fundamental Duties : It shall be the duty of both the State and citizens to

a) spread and incite caste and communal hatred and riots and discriminate and commit atrocities on minorities, Dalits etc

b) lynch cow killers, child lifters, jihadis, rationalists, urban naxals ( whatever that means ), Tukde Tukde gang, etc

c) spread unscientific thinking, beliefs in babas, astrology, etc

Article 6

Further provisions : All other provisions of this Constitution shall be determined by the superior citizens in an opaque manner ( the way the Supreme Court Collegium functions ) and ordinary citizens will have no say in it

Article 7

Amendment : No amendment to this Constitution will be allowed. Those demanding it will be lynched ( a method of execution which by now we are accustomed to )


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