The Reality Of Domestic Violence: It’s Not Just About Physical Abuse

We all have come across this quotation from Rupi Kaur: “And here we’re living despite it all.”

Does it give us a sense of courage in our hearts to talk about the pain, scars, bruises, torments, sufferings, agony, ache, and journey towards recovery?

Domestic violence: what is it? Physical or mental abuse? Or is it both?

As we all accept, it’s not just a two-word thing that comes into our minds daily. It’s wholly related to a person’s life, which unfortunately turned out miserable under the same roof. As Google says, “it typically involves the violent abuse of a spouse.”

One in three women has been the victim of physical abuse, rape, or stalking by an intimate partner.

Both men and women have experienced psychological aggression from a spouse in close to equal numbers, and I am not settling here; in every single home, one or the other person is being abused, and I wouldn’t hesitate to say that they could be a father, brother, sister, or anybody! So, would you say that it’s their home where they live? Because I always heard and understood that home was the safest place until there was an attack by animals. Animals? Yeah, they can come in the form of humans as well, or maybe they’re already living there.

The root of domestic violence lies in patriarchy, misogyny, misandry, narcissism, and sex-based oppression. Domestic abuse never happens in a vacuum between two people; it’s all there in front of everyone and no one notices. It creates a great impact on the person who is abused—the social, occupational, and “obviously” personal lives get disgusted. Life turns out miserable, and the fear, phobia, or anything else you would call it clings to the person almost forever. Although we live in a bold and broad-minded world, it takes an entirely different mindset to move from social taboo to social acceptance and to express our views about it.

The unseen reality of the abusers and abused needs to be overlooked. Almost every abuser uses this tactic to befriend the family members of the survivor. They have this nature of manipulating the family to get saved. Among them are some narcissists, who drive recklessly to scare their victims, especially during conflicts. They can also have a lot of road rage and frequently start fights with others on the road.

So basically, they are very tricky; they want chances to hurt the victim and make his or her life devastating.

The cases of domestic violence have been increasing rapidly. According to India’s National Crime Records Bureau, the number of reported crimes against women rose by 15.3% in 2021 compared to 2020. The number of reported occurrences of crime against women increased by 87% between 2011 and 2021, from more than 228,650 to 4,28,278.

10.5% of males have experienced gender-based violence at the hands of their wives or intimate partners in the last 12 months (2020).

Don’t you think that it’s high time to raise our voices and be vocal about all this?

Yes, I am telling all the endurers and non-endurers to be resilient! I know that it takes so much to walk out of a toxic and abusive relationship, but do remember the words of Maria Consiglio: “The person who broke you is not the one who is going to help you heal. Don’t go back to them for a source of comfort. They gave you nothing before, and they will give you nothing now.

You have to be brave, robust, and encouraging for the whole community to live not the good life but the best life that you deserve.